A Path?

I am listening to Shane Claiborne’s pod-cast to the CCDA, realizing I have made quite the change in my life -even since this summer. I took a class focused on Urban Ministry but which attached so much more along with it. It has challenged and grown me beyond anything I would have expected. I will even admit I have teared up in that class due to it’s powerful content.

I am no eloquent writer so please forgive me but here this is something I feel needs to be written down even if I cannot express it well through words:

I have begun to feel led to Urban Ministry… shocker? Maybe. It certainly is for me. I don’t know what that will mean or what exactly that will look like, but I can see God taking me down a vague path into the urban jungle.

It all started with the Chicago spring break mission trip, which I was not really meant to be on- I didn’t apply for the trip I was sent an e-mail which asked me to apply for the trip, months after the applications had already been processed. I prayed about it and God provided the money before I even sent my letters… I raised 3 times the necessary amount. Amazing.

Next a class that had never been offered before, and may never be offered again, by an adjunct professor called: Urban Ministry Kingdom of God, was brought to my attention by my roommate. It miraculously fit into my schedule perfectly. That is where I just left off. The combination of the two incidences have forced me to find a way, which I finally have, to double major with Sociology and Studio Art and have an Urban Cities concentration.

The next mark is the class I will be taking next semester: Conversations on Race, also being offered for the first time. After that I have been told to check out a semester abroad in urban LA which would potentially save up to 13000$ in both opportunity cost and real cost! I would live with a family in the city, participate in the family activities, get an internship- in my case most likely working with street graffiti artists.

At first this path REALLY bothered me. I mean, I was walking the path… without any hesitation, BUT the idea that God may be calling me to remain in the United States instead of working with Refugees abroad.

I will be honest…  I have shed tears over this. But God woke me up with this question, which I heard in my heart, but still struggle to put into words:

‘ What makes you think that people over seas are any less worth helping that people in the United States?’

Oof.

So this is the precipice on which I now stand. I don’t know where God is going to lead me… I always find myself a little distraught because I always thought that the older I got the more sure I would be of where I was heading… I am finding that , at least during college, I am less sure of where I am going. But I am also a bit less worried about it every year. God is in control… woohoo!