I really don’t have to do a whole lot of serious thinking yet, compared to others about the future- but one thing that i have learned about myself over the past (almost 20 years now) is that I can’t help but think and dream, and plan for what is to come.
It is social justice week at school. Meaning a portion of students who have volunteered, will sleep outside in cardboard boxes on the lawn between two of the academic buildings for the week. most of us wont shower, eat regular meals, or change clothes. There are speakers every night, and worship every morning at 7:00 a.m. Last night it was cancelled due to freeze warning and because it started raining before boxes could even be set up. This bothered a lot of people, because the homless don’t get to simply not sleep on the street because of the weather. But, since we do have responsibilities to school etc, AND because we have beds and roofs over our heads, we decided to wisely take advantage of those blessings last night, and to thank God for them.
The speaker did not cancel his meeting (and thank GOD he didn’t). The speaker works with an organization in the inner city of Philadelphia with his family. He told us his story and how God has been walking with him and his family. It was so inspiring. This closley followed – mind you – the annual address of the University President, about living not for significance, but out of, through, and for faithfulness.
I realized that I struggle with thinking and being satisfied with the small. All that encouragment to dream BIG, really worked on me- to the point where I was deeply unsatisfied to think that I would not have a grand and adventurous life at some point in time. However, even if I do have a grand and adventurous life at some point (and I believe so far i may even have had a bit of one)- I remember that God doesn’t just use the significant, or those in power, or with influence. God uses the woman by the well, the mary magdalanes- the nobodies- in seemingly small ways through their faithfulness, for what later turns out to be magnificent things which are glorifying to GOD.
I have always wanted to go back over seas. To work in an adrenaline-rush environment… where I could actively see the fruits of my labor, and feel as if i was doing something big and really worth while. I struggle to clearly identify my motives behind wanting to go to another country and help. I do truly love culture, travel and being among displaced people, because that is where i truly feel at home, however, i also want to be of value. I want to do something GREAT. Something that people will remember. To have significance.
I am starting to realize that my greatest challenge may be staying here. It may be working in the inner city of America. It needs help too. And why do people always feel like they need to go somewhere else to love people and share God’s love with them?? People in America need it too! Last night God even gave me an image a dream for what I could do in the USA, if this is where he called me to be. A big house, in the inner city, where we could cook BIG meals for homeless every thursday, and we could have immigrants come in and get help- maybe even offer shelter! offer free art classes (through government grants) to kids who are going to incredibly tough schools. Things like that. Be apart of a community and just offer love.
I don’t know where God is calling me… but he has given me dreams and passions for many – and i mean MANY different things…
We will see where God leads. My heart is stirring. I have so much more peace with the uncertainty of where God may take me in my future! Praise God for everything he is doing, has done, and will do in the lives of those around us, and for what he is doing in us! AMEN!